" The most creative act you will ever undertake is the act of creating yourself."

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Dealing with Anger Part 2

Tip: Got joint pain and inflammation, including in the mouth, gums, throat and tonsils? Drink hot sage tea!

Finaaallly! I know I promised this a week ago or longer! I'm a slacker! Got pent up anger? Are you taking it out on the wrong person? The Bible says, Be angry but do not sin! Responding vs. Reacting to this strong emotion. To catch up you may want to read Dealing with Anger Part 1 that I posted. http://dazedandcreative.blogspot.com/2012/07/dealing-with-your-anger-part-1.htmlhttp://dazedandcreative.blogspot.com/2012/07/dealing-with-your-anger-part-1.html

Addressing anger is what we are supposed to do. Everyone can control their anger, if they want to, will you? But how do we do this? We need to learn to control our anger. Let's explore ways to through listening to Dr. Gary Chapman from Moody Radio on Today in the Word. http://www.moodyradio.org/radioplayer.aspx?episode=91101 In that post, I mentioned that we first have to let the anger subside, then we can share why we are angry. God always told why he was angry to whom he was angry to. It's a process just like anything else eg. grieving, etc.

How to share it with the person that has made you angry: "I'm feeling angry right now, but don't worry I'm not going to take it out on you". This is one of the lines that Dr. Gary Chapman has couples memorize to prepare for marriage. "But I do need your help, when you get time I'd like to talk about it".

The whole purpose in both sets of relationship posts from last month, http://dazedandcreative.blogspot.com/2012/07/confrontation-in-relationships.html is to make things between you and the other person right. Seeking resolution. Is it possible you overreacted? After speaking with the person you may discover this. And, if not then that person, in an ideal wold, apologizes to you! Wouldn't it be great if everyone could and would do this?! I started focusing on saying I'm sorry when I am wrong even to my children. If I raise my voice (scream) as a reaction to something they have done, I am letting the anger control me and my actions. I apologize, not usually 'til I've calmed down and realize what an idiot I was but I go to them and say, "Mommy is sorry and should not have screamed for no reason. There are better ways to communicate."

Anger Issues

1) Shutting the other person down=pent up feelings of anger. I have developed a very bad habit of how I react to anger. The minute I hear that tone in their voice, I stiffen up and prepare for battle. Often saying I don't appreciate the tone you are using or I wish you wouldn't speak to me that way. We do this to our kids a lot but most often it is better to let the "tone" slide in these moments and hear the message behind the tone.

2) React with anger to their anger which is a human trait (that can be changed)Didn't your mama ever tell you, 2 wrongs do not make a right? Mine did!  Proverbs 15:1 a soft answer turns wrath away. We need to and I need to let them get it out. Don't take the tone (my tone) personally (my hubster;-p) Don't make little comments that throw fuel on the fire. Yep, we do that and then we say that!

3) Storing anger up for the winter is not spiritual.  We are not squirrels! The emotion anger is not a sin. Remember it's purpose is to set things right in relationships with others. Don't say, "I'm upset" when you are really angry. Have you ever met a bitter person? "Anger was meant to be simply a visiter not a resident." It is a sin to keep it repressed within us because it will make you loathe the person. The Bible says do not be enslaved by anger.Often pent up anger can lead to depression. Do you have road rage? It may be you have undealt with feelings of anger.

Hey, I got some homework for me and you:

1) Don't forget anger is a feeling that comes from God to help us. Be thankful. Due date: Eternally
2) Get alone with God, ask God what you are angry about, write it down. Due date: Sooner
3) Start talking about anger and help other people deal with their anger. Due date: Later

Would love to hear comments from those of you taking the time to read this blog o mine! You may contribute in a way that helps me and other's. You do not need to be a member to comment but if you wanted to join my blog to help raise my low-self esteem that would be great;-)


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