" The most creative act you will ever undertake is the act of creating yourself."

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Wacky Wonderful Wednesday

I am excited! I am anxiously awaiting for tomorrow to come because I applied for a spot in a Halloween craft fair. I received an email last night that said, "Your stuff is crazy awesome!" So, even if I don't get in the fair this year it was well worth applying to receive a compliment like that. I will, also have some awesome creepy decorations for this year! I have always loved Halloween!

I have been moody and depressed for a couple weeks now. I have been trying to hide it but yesterday it caught up with me. I just wanted to hide and cry all day. Something is wrong with my female system. I either had an ovarian polyp or an ectopic pregnancy. W H A T! I can't get pregnant at home! We have to do invitro to have babies. I can't get pregnant now because I don't have a uterus! I chose to let them take it to make me mentally healthier. I had monthlies that were from hell. I never had a break ever.

What the heck does that look like? It looks more like a contraption that I should have used to keep this crazy situation from happening then a baby rattle but I was under the impression with no uterus we were ok to be unprotected!

I was 12 when my monthlies started and they lasted 10-14 days, I had migraines. I vomited. I hated me! I was suicidal with them, even in adulthood. This can't happen at home or now. I was feeling super healthy after my Cleveland Clinic stint. Now, I am feeling defeated. That's why I decided to enter the craft fair. It will give something to focus me for at least 18 days.

Let me just mention here that if it is a pregnancy, it is weird and will have to be removed along with that tube! You can not carry a babe without a uterus. I, also was told by my current MD that she is uncertain why they didn't take my cervix because she would have. Great! Now, I get to spend the rest of my life having paps that could have been avoided if they had just took my cervix in the first place.

Big Big was diagnosed with ADHD last week. While at my therapy session with my psychologist we talked about the fact that I have to set better examples for her. I have to reign in that thing called my mind. I damn near laughed! Good luck with that I've been trying for years. Well, I'm going to go craft and create! I can't think about all this anymore right now!

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