" The most creative act you will ever undertake is the act of creating yourself."

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Unplanned Test Runs

Tip: Eat (in moderation) dark chocolate, it's good for your heart!

Saturday- So, over the past few days I've been able to put the anger and confrontation posts (steps) into action in my own life. I am happy to say they were very effective and worked wonderfully. I was upset with a family member and a bit angry at the end of last week. I was able to be angry without feeling guilty. I was able to talk to 1 or 2 other's about my anger and after moving through the process mentioned in Dealing with Anger Part 1. I realized that my anger was misplaced and although slightly legitimate it was way too much anger. I did not go to that person until after I was done being angry. I was able to say what I needed to say without ever saying that I had been angry because it was not necessary to say it to correct the situation. Happy ending!

Then today, I got angry again briefly over the same (almost) situation and my husband said to me, "so you are angry again". I said, I am but that doesn't mean it's legitimate, it's just because it's how my sadness comes out. He said, I wouldn't bother with the person. I said, that's his way not mine. I said, I'm not trying to offend you or say your way is not right for you but for me to be more God-like I need to handle it my way. He said, so now your trying to be God? I said, no but we are made from God's image and we are supposed to walk in his foot steps and strive to be more like him.  Which requires me to let go of the anger and look at the situation from said person's view. I need to  be the person I am and they will then realize who I am. My husband does not read my blog and has no idea what I listened to on Moody Radio. So, I used the steps and he had no idea it was from those series about relationships and it worked!

Sunday- Late last night I found out that I had lost a friend that I've known since jr high due to the fact that she works with my ex's wife (I'm assuming this is the reason). We were friends in school. Not real close per say but I wasn't real close with many because I didn't want people to know about my child abuse stuff. I felt close and like this person a lot. We reconnected on FB a couple years ago. She was one of my sources of support and comfort when I was pregnant with the twins and afterwards when they were in nick-u for 2 months. I was hoping since we were closer to home that we would get closer since she has kids too. I saw her last year and she seemed genuinely happy to see me. This saddens me. How can I apply all these principles to this situation? Well, instead of getting angry I requested her friendship again and sent a message to her. We'll see what happens.

4 hours later- I still feel incredibly depressed from all this. At times it is so overwhelming, the pastor's message was again fantastic and hit home! Luke: ch 2  versus 15-20. The message was about tearing down the wall that has been built and building a bridge instead. Giving someone a break when the last thing they deserve is a break from us. Christ offers light and warmth. Should we do any less? Ah hem, this is so hard. As I get closer to putting all these steps into action, the more nervous I get. How do you date someone, spend years with them, live with them, give yourself to them so freely and in the end you are afraid to even speak to them. What am I afraid of?

Well, I haven't listened to Moody Radio yet but I will tonight after the kids get to bed. So, I'll post about the anger issue tomorrow hopefully!


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