" The most creative act you will ever undertake is the act of creating yourself."

Friday, July 13, 2012

Self-Conscious(ETA), I mean Confidence

Tip: Start now, don't wait!

After writing these last 3 days with a focused topic, I felt exhilarated! Then, I got up yesterday and was like, "Now, what?" I moped around all day! I just looked up the definition for moping-to act in a dazed or stupid manner. haha Yup, that was me! Then, I went through a period of mini depression or lack of self-esteem. Finally, I took a long nap and woke feeling fibro (fibromyalgia) sick, meaning like the flu but not the flu. So, what will I write about that is worth reading? Engaging? Isn't stupid? blah, blah, blah...

I wasn't one of those girls that made cheer leading squad or majorette. I tried out for volleyball, big fat nope! I wasn't popular. What was wrong with me?? The same thing that's wrong with a lot of kids that went through this, lack of social training and adult praise. These important aspects of parenting just became that important recently. It is something I can implement into my parenting but in the 70's and 80's it was nonexistent. Oh, and don't forget to throw in the occasional bully to impact my dis ease!

What can we do now as parents and adults to help our children of the world not suffer like I (we) did? Something! Anything! Either of those are better than what my (our) parents chose. We may be doing our best now but I believe there is always room for improvement. I'm not pulling a Dr. Sears on you. I am not going to pull a Time magazine and title this Are You Mom Enough? But, please ask yourself what else can I do to help my child adjust to this thing called life? It is a cold, hard world out there and they need our guidance to succeed and grow into healthy adults.

Ever sit in school secretly looking in your compact to see if you had a booger hanging out your nose? I did! I was so concerned about the way I looked, as if it was what would make me acceptable to others. But still no one talked to me. I had a few friends in jr high but it all seemed to end by 9th grade. Granted switching schools did not help my disposition but I didn't know how to make friends. I didn't feel like I fit in. It was my discomfort inside myself. I wasn't comfortable with being me. What was missing due to lack of social training and praise? A positive sense of self. Self esteem. Self confidence.

So, I looked up some verses from the Bible to see if "our directions on how to live" say anything about this issue. I found so much I do not know where to start. If you were taken to church growing up you were taught the 10 commandments and about discipline. Which are important but did your parents and other adults focus on the positives in these? Did they show you how through action to be "kind, forgiving, generous, gracious, thoughtful of others, hospitable, cheerful, humble, loving, honest, hard-working, and trustworthy"? (1) Did your parents role play with you what to do in different types of situations? Mine didn't! But, we as parents and adults that have children in our lives can.

We can show them through our actions with them and others. We can role play exact situations with them. There are lots of books out there and on my shelf here in my home that model different social situations from bullying to sharing. One of the most important roles (jobs) in life is child rearing! I will make a small list of books you can purchase in case you are not one to go thumbing through the Bible looking for the answers.

Kid Friendly Books

Again, I say there is so much information out there to help us teach our kids how to grow up to be confident, well-adjusted adults. Can we all find the time in our hectic schedules to fit this in between dance, soccer and work? Do we really have a choice?!

Namaste X

Resources and References
(1) http://www.nathhan.com/socialskills.htm Does The Bible Have Anything To Say About Social Skills? By Paul E. White Ph.D. Psychologist

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