" The most creative act you will ever undertake is the act of creating yourself."

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Confrontation in Relationships Part 2

Tip: Someone on FB said one day, "I wish there were directions for life". My Aunt replied, "There are"!

This is a continuation of yesterdays post on confrontation in relationships. Now, to start let me clarify that relationships means not just a partner/sexual relationship. It means all relationships. Sisters, brothers, parents, friends, past relationships that have ended can be restored, if desired. But first you should restore your relationship with God because he is where you will draw the courage to restore other relationships. Since I don't think I mentioned this yesterday, the purpose of rebuking someone that has sinned against you is to restore the relationship. This doesn't mean back to the way it was necessarily, please keep that in mind. Some relationships you do not want to restore back the way they were. Most relationships will change based on the sin itself. The trust has been broken even if you have forgiven the other person. It will have to be rebuilt and will inevitably shape up differently than before, which may not be a bad thing.

I'm gonna give a few scenario's out of my past that include others sinning against me and also, me sinning against others. We are all capable of the worst kind of sins! I'll start with mine.

#1 When I was living in SC the first couple of years, I was a member of a local mom's club. I had a lot of friends for the first time in my life. It was great! I had done exactly as my therapist had suggested I do: reinvent myself! I was an extrovert, socially accepted and liked! I had not at this point become a christian so I was only changed on the surface. After a few years, I began a friendship with someone I had coveted. I know that sounds funny! I had Abigail and went flippin' crazy for a year! Yes, it was severe postpartum depression but this does not excuse my behavior.

 So, in a nutshell, this friend and I got close fast and she shared some very personal intimate details about herself with me.  She didn't say, "Don't tell" but that is simply a rule in life and in friendships! I was jealous and upset for selfish and ridiculous reasons and so I gossiped to another friend of mine...and you can guess how things went after that. I moved away from SC having no friends. I have since restored all but a couple of those friendships because I repented my sins to God and those friends and was able to restore them. 

#2 My first marriage was a disaster from the get go. I was vulnerable, just a few years into a 12 step group I started dating a guy that was part of the program. He was HIV positive and I felt sorry for him. I felt educated enough for a relationship with him and his medical status quo. I was not educated enough for the manipulative addict that he was. Do not...I repeat...Do not marry someone that says to you, " If you do not say yes and marry me, I will leave you forever", especially after only dating for 2 weeks! Yeah, I know I've made some not so great choices! My choice maker was broken and needed repairs! 

The sins that he sinned against me piled up day after day for 6 months and then I ended it. And, almost everyone in that 12 step program turned their back on me because I left him. 

#3 The father of my first daughter left me while I was 3 months pregnant. Well, gave me the choice, how thoughtful, to keep her or him. I've wrote about this some before. And, this is the relationship I will be working on to restore. But first, I will meditate and learn from God how to go about this the right way.

So, now I'm gonna go listen to the rest of that program from Moody Radio about Confrontation and I'll get back to you tomorrow with a summary of it!

Namaste is what I say to the good in you and the good in me:-)


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