" The most creative act you will ever undertake is the act of creating yourself."

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Random Thoughts

Sitting at the ole' breakfast nook in my 1980's country style kitchen with bedroom floral wallpaper having breakfast with one of the wee tiddler's. Eating pumpkin pop tarts. Yum. Wondering why play-doh smells so bad. Yuck. Disliking that it gets stuck under the nails every time I get it out. Thinking it needs to come with a nail cleaning kit. Pondering whether I will be successful at the art show. Who reads this blog anyway? Show yourselves. Why so anonymous? Why does the wee tiddler need all 8 cans of doh open? Dislike.

Maybe, I should have named my blog something about free writing because I do not have a "niche". I do not want a niche. I just want to write about whatever is in my mind freely without judgement or worry. I want to write about how my mum disassociated when I was a little girl and didn't listen to me when I spoke and didn't feed me when she was sewing but then who will disown me if I do write about this horrifying childhood I survived. Which may not be as bad as some other's childhood but it was bad for me. Obviously, I didn't die from starvation. I figured out how to feed myself. However, since then I have intentionally starved myself, made myself vomit after gorging myself and hated what the mirror shows me everyday my entire life.

I want to write about living at my grandma's house until I was 5 and then being uprooted from my safety net and dropped into a foreign environment that fell down around us. The horror behind those walls that is my version of what happened. We all have a different version but we never talk about it. I've asked. I hear, "I don't remember." I hear, "It didn't bother me, just you." I hear, "If I tell you it will "kill" you." I hear, "I didn't notice." Obviously. Please for the love of sanity will someone just talk to me?

Hello. . .is there anybody out there? Just nod if you can hear me. or comment. comments are appreciated. I may chase some of you away today but if you can't comment and say hello then maybe you shouldn't be here. I am however really honestly going to have a giveaway as soon as this craft show is over on the 20th. If you want to win something I've made just in time for Halloween to decorate with or something for your wee tiddler to love then you will have to comment. Just warning you ahead of time.

Random Writer

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