Self-Realized

Tip: Talk to your children regardless of their age.

Yesterday on Care Bears (yes, I watch it with my kids), one of them said, "After I'm through with you, you'll feel self-realized,confident and motivated"! Will your kids be able to say that you did that for them when they grow up? I'm not trying to put anyone on the defensive here or make anyone feel bad for what they are or have done with raising their children. I just want to bring it to the forefront. I don't believe it can hurt anyone to take a look at how their raising their kids. I believe there is always room for improvement in my parenting. I work everyday at doing better than yesterday. Am I obsessed? Well, I better be! They are my children and I wanted them and they are the worlds future. It is my responsibility to give them the proper social skills they need to not just make it in this world this life. But to thrive.

I want to talk about that article in Time magazine that came out a couple months ago. "Are you mom enough?" So many women were offended by that title that they refused to ever read the article before it ever came out! I was one of the first to read it! I was working the day it was sent to one of my patients (a Dr.) as an exclusive sneak peak and he let me read it. The picture does not do it justice, enough said about that! What the article was really about was not what the title implied or how it was "judged by it's cover". Anyway, didn't your mama ever tell you not to judge a book by it's cover?! Seriously folks! So many women went over board with drama on that title and cover pic! Time magazine, in their defense, was just stating some facts about how many women have taken what Dr. Sears preaches and teaches to the extreme in their interpretation of his parenting style. Even the Dr. Sears himself has readily admitted that many women have misunderstood him and taken what he says to extremely when raising their kids. There are a lot of parenting styles out there that work. We have to choose what works best for us and each of our children individually. What worked with my first and second child is not working for my third and forth (twins). Why? Because life has changed, I have changed, I'm older, etc.

Breastfeeding, bottle feeding, baby wearers or not, as long as we are aware of what we can be doing and do what is right for us and our children. Everyone has an opinion about the "right way" to do everything, especially when it comes to parenting. I've done it different with each of my kids. They are all still loving, caring, thoughtful human beings.

How can you facilitate this process for your children? Self realization will lead to confidence and motivation. Positive reinforcement. Praise them! Praise them! (one more time now) Praise them! Did your parents praise you when you did well? Did they encourage you when you didn't? Did they nag you to do something, anything? Did they belittle you because what you wanted wasn't what they thought you should want? What kind-of parent are you going to be? Controlling vs. Self Control.

Teaching our children how to interact socially with others is important. It is not innate from the beginning. We tell them to share, say they are sorry, please and thank you but does it stop there? I sincerely hope not. They say for Autism Spectrum disorders early intervention is the key. I believe for easy social integration early intervention is the key for all kids regardless of their diagnosis.

Go back and read or reread my first posts! It is a list of what I am and am not and what my new year resolutions are this year 2012 for life! I am going to be a better parent and wife. I have to start with myself to accomplish these goals which are quite hefty and take a lot of work depending on past issues etc. For me, I have had to lose weight and go to the doctor to get help for my pain. I have had to be a better advocate for my kids to get them in the schools they need and specialists they needed. It has been thus far a long exhausting year, however very rewarding to this point! I have lost over 30 lbs and am eating better. My kids are eating better. My Maddie is in an Autism school and  my Abi was diagnosed with a "little" gas problem which was actually a big diagnosis and she is on the mend due to my persistence as a parent. My twins are getting what they need. I am headed to the 3 1/2 week Pain Rehabilitation and Management Program in a couple weeks. Yadda, Yadda, Yadda! So many things to improve... myself, my life, my parenting, my wif"ing";-) But, the most important thing I had to do this year was to recommit myself to God. Only through God can I do all else!

Namaste
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Recommended Reading

Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves http://www.naomialdort.com/book.html