Tip: Someone on FB said one day, "I wish there were directions for life". My Aunt replied, "There are"!
This is a continuation of yesterdays post on confrontation in relationships. Now, to start let me clarify that relationships means not just a partner/sexual relationship. It means all relationships. Sisters, brothers, parents, friends, past relationships that have ended can be restored, if desired. But first you should restore your relationship with God because he is where you will draw the courage to restore other relationships. Since I don't think I mentioned this yesterday, the purpose of rebuking someone that has sinned against you is to restore the relationship. This doesn't mean back to the way it was necessarily, please keep that in mind. Some relationships you do not want to restore back the way they were. Most relationships will change based on the sin itself. The trust has been broken even if you have forgiven the other person. It will have to be rebuilt and will inevitably shape up differently than before, which may not be a bad thing.
I'm gonna give a few scenario's out of my past that include others sinning against me and also, me sinning against others. We are all capable of the worst kind of sins! I'll start with mine.
#1 When I was living in SC the first couple of years, I was a member of a local mom's club. I had a lot of friends for the first time in my life. It was great! I had done exactly as my therapist had suggested I do: reinvent myself! I was an extrovert, socially accepted and liked! I had not at this point become a christian so I was only changed on the surface. After a few years, I began a friendship with someone I had coveted. I know that sounds funny! I had Abigail and went flippin' crazy for a year! Yes, it was severe postpartum depression but this does not excuse my behavior.
So, in a nutshell, this friend and I got close fast and she shared some very personal intimate details about herself with me. She didn't say, "Don't tell" but that is simply a rule in life and in friendships! I was jealous and upset for selfish and ridiculous reasons and so I gossiped to another friend of mine...and you can guess how things went after that. I moved away from SC having no friends. I have since restored all but a couple of those friendships because I repented my sins to God and those friends and was able to restore them.
#2 My first marriage was a disaster from the get go. I was vulnerable, just a few years into a 12 step group I started dating a guy that was part of the program. He was HIV positive and I felt sorry for him. I felt educated enough for a relationship with him and his medical status quo. I was not educated enough for the manipulative addict that he was. Do not...I repeat...Do not marry someone that says to you, " If you do not say yes and marry me, I will leave you forever", especially after only dating for 2 weeks! Yeah, I know I've made some not so great choices! My choice maker was broken and needed repairs!
The sins that he sinned against me piled up day after day for 6 months and then I ended it. And, almost everyone in that 12 step program turned their back on me because I left him.
#3 The father of my first daughter left me while I was 3 months pregnant. Well, gave me the choice, how thoughtful, to keep her or him. I've wrote about this some before. And, this is the relationship I will be working on to restore. But first, I will meditate and learn from God how to go about this the right way.
So, now I'm gonna go listen to the rest of that program from Moody Radio about Confrontation and I'll get back to you tomorrow with a summary of it!
Namaste is what I say to the good in you and the good in me:-)
X
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Confrontation in Relationships
Tip: Feeling depressed? Eat popcorn!
So, yesterday's message at church was: You need to go to your Samaria and talk to your Samaritan. Who is this person that is your Samaritan? You know who yours is and I think you all know who mine is! Is it comfortable? No, but do it anyway! WWJD=What would Jesus do? That was the other part of the message.
Today, I'm driving home from taking Madeleine to school and I flip the station to Moody Radio 103.3 Cleveland, right, and the message is on Relationships: How to confront! Rebuke + Repent = Forgiveness. Amazing message! And, why didn't I learn this sooner in life?! It doesn't always happen this way or smoothly but the speaker also said what to do. Step.by.Step.
1) Go alone to rebuke a person that has sinned against you. Personal confrontation.
2)Take 1 or 2 close friends as witnesses, if #1 doesn't work.
3) Church helps in some way by going to the person, if #2 doesn't work.
Tip: Always go in meekness! No, I did not say weakness! I said meekness; also, known as gentleness. Confrontation should be done in a positive light, not negative. Meekness is not weak! It takes great strength and courage to confront someone when they have sinned against you.
Who do you rebuke? Someone who has sinned against you. Not just simply irritated you. But really sinned against you. Lied, cheated, stolen, these are examples of sinned against you.
If they do not repent to you, what then?
4) The most powerful step if they do not repent to you is to treat them as a heathen, a tax collector! Does this mean convict them? No. Does this mean you have nothing to do with them? Do you turn your back on them? No! It means pray for them and continue to reach out to them to show them the way.
This does not mean you wash their sin against you under the table like it was no big deal. You do not treat them as one of your brother and sisters in worship but you do not stop going to them waiting for them to repent.
Loved this part of the message: Be thankful you are not in their shoes! It is very uncomfortable when someone rebukes you.
To be cont...
P.S.
Tip came from Livestrong.com! Here's the link: http://www.livestrong.com/article/276068-which-foods-help-treat-depression/
Namaste X
So, yesterday's message at church was: You need to go to your Samaria and talk to your Samaritan. Who is this person that is your Samaritan? You know who yours is and I think you all know who mine is! Is it comfortable? No, but do it anyway! WWJD=What would Jesus do? That was the other part of the message.
Today, I'm driving home from taking Madeleine to school and I flip the station to Moody Radio 103.3 Cleveland, right, and the message is on Relationships: How to confront! Rebuke + Repent = Forgiveness. Amazing message! And, why didn't I learn this sooner in life?! It doesn't always happen this way or smoothly but the speaker also said what to do. Step.by.Step.
1) Go alone to rebuke a person that has sinned against you. Personal confrontation.
2)Take 1 or 2 close friends as witnesses, if #1 doesn't work.
3) Church helps in some way by going to the person, if #2 doesn't work.
Tip: Always go in meekness! No, I did not say weakness! I said meekness; also, known as gentleness. Confrontation should be done in a positive light, not negative. Meekness is not weak! It takes great strength and courage to confront someone when they have sinned against you.
Who do you rebuke? Someone who has sinned against you. Not just simply irritated you. But really sinned against you. Lied, cheated, stolen, these are examples of sinned against you.
If they do not repent to you, what then?
4) The most powerful step if they do not repent to you is to treat them as a heathen, a tax collector! Does this mean convict them? No. Does this mean you have nothing to do with them? Do you turn your back on them? No! It means pray for them and continue to reach out to them to show them the way.
This does not mean you wash their sin against you under the table like it was no big deal. You do not treat them as one of your brother and sisters in worship but you do not stop going to them waiting for them to repent.
Loved this part of the message: Be thankful you are not in their shoes! It is very uncomfortable when someone rebukes you.
To be cont...
P.S.
Tip came from Livestrong.com! Here's the link: http://www.livestrong.com/article/276068-which-foods-help-treat-depression/
Namaste X
Sunday, July 8, 2012
A Few Days Later...
Tip: Stay in, when heat index is 112F!
July 4th- After stepping outside briefly, I quickly realized it was not a good idea to be outside for any of us! So, I decided to break all traditions and find something cheap indoors to do. We went to our local mall, which had been abandoned by most folks wanting to suffer in the heat for the sake of tradition! My own husband complained a few times that we should be outdoors having a cook out! The food could have cooked itself on the cement in the driveway! Bleek:-o
I took lots of pics, found a cute bathing suit to sport on my 30lb lighter bod (which still needs a bit of work but who cares) and ate at Eat n' Park. Now, if that's not American tradition I don't know what is!! I had some great pics but after one of my wonderful children played on my phone I can't find them! Bummed but life goes on! That's what I get for procrastinating;-P
It's now the 8th and I have been busy and tired when I'm not busy! We went to church today for the first time in a while (afraid too long)! We have found our church family! We met this women, that I might have mentioned in a previous post, at Joann Fabrics a few weeks back and talked to for an hour about Reiki. She invited us and I got up this morning determined to get there. My mom and I went to "investigate"! It was small and a bit outdated but the people were so friendly! It is ironic that the first trip to a new church in all our moves they have had communion and fellowship afterword. God does know what we need! This church does Reiki exchanges and they want to start a Reiki Team! I believe I have found my calling!
Then, I came home and motivated my wonderful hubster to put the yard toys in the yard and out of my dining room! Yay! I can't wait to put the table back up! We, also, cleaned out the garage and made me a corner to work in instead of being all over the place. I can't wait to get out there with spare time! I went yard sale"ing" on Friday and Saturday and spent too much! I found a whole box of vintage fabric for $1! The box is so big it would hold all my kids in it. I found 2 old laundry washing boards, 2 old suit cases, 1 old trunk, and a few odds and ends! But the most coveted pieces are 20 old wooden Hamilton print trays and cheap! I have most of my paintings all planned out already. The fella that sold them to me said if I want more he has 500 and will sell them at the same price:-)
In a nutshell, I believe I have found some of "who I am" recently and it feels good! I love the hunt, the find and the creating of art! I love Reiki and I love God! I guess I'm not doing so bad after all. The message was powerful today but I will talk about that later this week after I have ingested in it's entirety.
Namaste
July 4th- After stepping outside briefly, I quickly realized it was not a good idea to be outside for any of us! So, I decided to break all traditions and find something cheap indoors to do. We went to our local mall, which had been abandoned by most folks wanting to suffer in the heat for the sake of tradition! My own husband complained a few times that we should be outdoors having a cook out! The food could have cooked itself on the cement in the driveway! Bleek:-o
I took lots of pics, found a cute bathing suit to sport on my 30lb lighter bod (which still needs a bit of work but who cares) and ate at Eat n' Park. Now, if that's not American tradition I don't know what is!! I had some great pics but after one of my wonderful children played on my phone I can't find them! Bummed but life goes on! That's what I get for procrastinating;-P
It's now the 8th and I have been busy and tired when I'm not busy! We went to church today for the first time in a while (afraid too long)! We have found our church family! We met this women, that I might have mentioned in a previous post, at Joann Fabrics a few weeks back and talked to for an hour about Reiki. She invited us and I got up this morning determined to get there. My mom and I went to "investigate"! It was small and a bit outdated but the people were so friendly! It is ironic that the first trip to a new church in all our moves they have had communion and fellowship afterword. God does know what we need! This church does Reiki exchanges and they want to start a Reiki Team! I believe I have found my calling!
Then, I came home and motivated my wonderful hubster to put the yard toys in the yard and out of my dining room! Yay! I can't wait to put the table back up! We, also, cleaned out the garage and made me a corner to work in instead of being all over the place. I can't wait to get out there with spare time! I went yard sale"ing" on Friday and Saturday and spent too much! I found a whole box of vintage fabric for $1! The box is so big it would hold all my kids in it. I found 2 old laundry washing boards, 2 old suit cases, 1 old trunk, and a few odds and ends! But the most coveted pieces are 20 old wooden Hamilton print trays and cheap! I have most of my paintings all planned out already. The fella that sold them to me said if I want more he has 500 and will sell them at the same price:-)
In a nutshell, I believe I have found some of "who I am" recently and it feels good! I love the hunt, the find and the creating of art! I love Reiki and I love God! I guess I'm not doing so bad after all. The message was powerful today but I will talk about that later this week after I have ingested in it's entirety.
Namaste
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